Eight of Eleven

Today is the eighth day of the past eleven that I’ve been in the hospital. Two hospitals, actually.

Just writing that down and actually seeing it in print is a bit jarring. Which leads to another disconcerting thought and that is how lucky I am to be here: diagnosed and in treatment for blood clots in my leg and bilateral pulmonary embolisms. Clots n both lungs.

Now, an argument could be made that being hospitalized is another but lucky. But that wouldn’t be fair or accurate. You see I know and understand just how dangerous those clots can be if they break up or dislodge and start moving through the body. That coupled with the recognition that I’m in the best possible place to handle this — the best place to get me back on the road again — is not only gratifying, it is literally life-assuring.

The reason I can say that is that in between my first hospitalization that began last Friday and this adventure that started this past Saturday I was treated at a hospital other than the City of Hope. A good hospital. A great hospital, in fact. Where I was well cared for and where the doctors were excellent, the testing thorough, the care attentive and the diagnoses accurate. There was and still a profound difference.

I’m Complicated

I’m complicated. A living being literally formed from two similar, but different organisms: mine and my non-related donor’s. One hundred percent immunocompromised, which means that virtually any virus or bacterial assault on my body can be disastrous. I need to be someplace that understand that simple set of facts on an entirely different level. Doctors in all disciplines who understand what’s going on an entirely different level.

I felt a wave of relief wash over me when the ambulance that transported me arrived here. A sense of security and relief I rarely feel outside these walls.

I probably won’t be discharged until Thursday at which point I will have spent ten of the past thirteen days in the hospital and that’s OK. I’ll feel lucky. Lucky and grateful, because I’m still here to talk and write about it.