Our son Ryan is a busy guy who I’ve mentioned many times in several previous posts.
He has worked at Insomniac Games in a leadership capacity for almost sixteen years, acted as a certified triathlon coach, performed as a successful triathlete, and has completed thirteen Ironman events. He is also a talented writer whose Iron Mad Man blogs — http://www.ironmadman.com — are more than worth a read.
It was his latest blog post that has prompted this post. It started with this simple premise: Coaching Is A Relationship, Not an Activity!
I have coached and been coached, and the difference between success and failure is simple. The two fundamental building blocks of any good relationship — trust and respect — are either present or they are not. When present, the results can be magical. When absent, tragic.
My father’s mantra was, “You gotta wanna…” As, in, “You gotta wanna fix the car!”
But what he was really saying was you “gotta wanna” succeed. You “gotta wanna” get better, listen and respond to gentle correction when offered — openly and honestly — in good faith. And, quite simply, that won’t happen if that bond of mutual respect and trust has never had the opportunity to develop.
Relationships like Coaching work best when they transcend the transactional! When whoever is being coached believes with a perfect faith that the information being shared: the instruction being offered, is being offered solely for their benefit. And, that applies to every great relationship you have ever had with every incredible teacher, Coach, Sifu, Sensei, manager, leader, friend or family member who has ever tried to help guide you and keep you on track.
Yes! Ryan is right! Coaching — great Coaching — is built on relationships, not just on activity! And, so is just about everything else!activitycoachinggentle correctionrelationshiptransactional